Sunday, October 12, 2008
The Empty Mirror
God, it is official, I looked in the mirror and the person looking back was not me - there was just a vapor trail of particles left behind as my soul departed. I blinked again and there was a face in the mirror but it was not my face. In the brief period since the diagnosis, my face has become swollen and puffy and my nose is an entirely different shape - Lyn verified this last night when we went to the movies. Yes, after all these years, I have finally achieved the Hayley Mills look. My formerly very straight nose is now a cute, turned up version of a nose. Great on Pollyanna, on me, not so much. And there are so many black heads on the skin of my nose - I wash my face every day but I cannot scrub there the way I used to, it hurts too much. I don't look like me. And you know what, I guess I actually had grown accustomed to my own face after all these years. I only hope the treatments will make me look like myself again.